New Site

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I hope you all enjoy it!

Blondes Do Not Really Have More Fun...

Two bowling teams, one of all blondes and one of all
brunettes, chartered a double-decker bus for a weekend
gambling trip.
The brunette team rode on the bottom of the bus, and the
blonde team rode on the top level.
The brunette team down below really whooped it up, having
a great time, when one of the brunettes realized she had
not heard anything from the blondes upstairs.
She decided to go up and investigate. When the brunette
reached the top, she found all the blondes in fear, staring
straight ahead at the road, clutching the seats in front of
them with white knuckles.
The brunette asked, 'What the heck is going on up here?
We are having a great time downstairs!'
One of the blondes looked at her, swallowed hard, and
whispered, 'YEAH, BUT YOU HAVE A DRIVER!'

Obama is Black?

Constantly people talking about Obama keep mentioning that he is black but I say who cares? So a black can become president, I'm all for that and that's not the reason why I'm against Obama. The reason is because he's a Muslim communist and dangerous for Jews, Israel and everything that America stands for! He wants change which we don't need right now rather we need stabilization.

Does anyone for a second think he's going to do even a quarter of what he said? He's going to say as soon as he becomes president that change cant happen right away and he will need 4 years to fix up America and the change will happen the second 4 years.

Now that he has won though we must face facts and that's what is. For all the people who think they have to leave America now, GO! America doesn't need you! If you cant stand beside it for good and bad times then leave. Its like the stock market, its never stable, there are ups and downs and that doesn't mean you have to take your money out every time it goes down a little bit.

Ikea Press Release

IKEA has announced its intention to start selling cars.

VOTE!!

Go out and vote for HOPE & CHANGE but do NOT vote for a muslim communist who cannot prove his citizenship!!

Dumb Obama Voters

Click here for a short clip about obama's dumb voters

Judaism - Izn't It Funny?

Isn't it funny that $10 seems like a lot when we give tzedaka, but so little when we go shopping? 
Isn't it funny how one hour seems so long when we worship G-d, and so short when we watch a ball game? 
Isn't it funny how 2 hours in shul seem so much longer than when we watch a video? 
Isn't it funny how when a ball game goes into overtime we get so excited, but when prayers last a little longer than usual, we complain? 
Isn't it funny how we find reading a whole Parsha from the Torah tiring, but  it's so easy to read 100 pages of the latest  novel? 
Isn't it funny how we want to sit in the front row when we go to a basketball game  but  we sit in the last rows of the shul? 
Isn't it funny how we need 2 or three weeks notice when there is an event to attend in the shul, and how we are always available for other events or programs? 
Isn't it funny how we have difficulty to learn the parsha, but so easy to learn and tell the latest gossip? 
Isn't it funny how we believe in the newspapers, but we question the Torah?                                                                       Isn't it funny how we send millions of jokes via e-mail that spread like wildfire, but when we receive something about Judaism, we don't  re-send them to anyone?

Back Seat Driver

On a recent flight, an elderly passenger kept peering out the window. Since it was totally dark, all she could see was the blinking wing-tip light. Finally, she rang for the flight attendant.
"I'm sorry to bother you," she said, "but I think you should inform the pilot that his left-turn indicator is on and has been for some time."

Finger Painting (Part II)

The Power of Answering Amen!

Amazing true story that recently occurred in Ashdod...
The mother of the family passed away and for the elevation of the mother's soul, the family took upon themselves that each family member must say blessings of food aloud for others to hear in order to answer Amen.
One day the daughter came home from school and felt terribly thirsty but no one was home to answer Amen to her blessing. She waited and waited till someone will come home and answer Amen to the blessing of the water. Although she felt extremely thirsty, she waited two and a half hours till someone arrived home to 'relieve' her.
That same night she had a dream and her deceased mother told her, "Know my daughter, the fact that you overcame your thirst and waited two and a half hours for someone to answer Amen made a tremendous impression in Shamayim. Because of your deed, it was ruled in Shamayim that a good decree will be bestowed. One of your classmates is very ill with the terrible sickness. In the merit of the good deed you performed it was decreed in Shamayim that your classmate will heal completely. The name of the classmate is ------."
At 5 am, the girl woke up in a frenzy and rushed to wake up her father to tell him her dream. The father told her that in the morning, he will look further into this matter since no one knew that this classmate was ill.
In the morning, the father called the classmate's father and casually asked him the well being of his family. The classmate's father answered that everything is ok but wanted to know why he is asking. The widow father revealed to him that he knows that his daughter is ill.
The classmate's father was in shock because they kept this matter top secret. The other father told him the development of how this knowledge came about and told him that his daughter said that her classmate will completely heal.
Both fathers belong to the same Hasidic sect. They immediately went to their Rebbe in Yerushalayim to tell him the dream. The Rebbe instructed that the ill girl be taken for a check up. On the same day, the girl was scheduled for her first chemotherapy treatment.
The family was prepared for the amazing results but the doctors shock was complete.
The results of the exam came out totally clean, without a trace of any illness!!!
The power of stubbornly observing a Mitzvah can save the whole world!

Chelsea Clinton

Chelsea Clinton recently discussed current events with a U.S. soldier. She asked if, as an American fighting man, anything scared him.

He told her there were only three things he feared:
1) Osama

2) Obama

AND

3) Yo Mama

Lifecycle of a Chicken

Hollywood’s Big Guns Come Out And Tell You To VOTE!!!

Finger Painting

It takes him four hours to do a hand. Then he photographs it for posterity. It took him 10 hours to do the two-handed Eagle in picture #2.

Gun Control

Obama For President!? Seriously....

Why is all of this going unnoticed by the media???? They send 1000 reporters to Alaska to dig up something on Sarah Palin and they have this right in front of their eyes!

From Dreams of My Father:'I ceased to advertise my mother's race at the age of 12 or 13, when I began to suspect that by doing so I was ingratiating myself to whites.'

From Dreams of My Father : 'I found a solace in nursing a pervasive sense of grievance and animosity against my mother's race.'

From Dreams of My Father:'There was something about him that made me wary, a little too sure of himself, maybe. And white.'

From Dreams of My Father: 'It remained necessary to prove which side you were on, to show your loyalty to the black masses, to strike out and name names.'

From Dreams of My Father:'I never emulate white men and brown men whose fates didn't speak to my own. It was into my father's image, the black man, son of Africa , that I'd packed all the attributes I sought in myself , the attributes of Martin and Malcolm, DuBois and Mandela.'

And FINALLY the Most Damning one of ALL of them!!!

From Audacity of Hope:
'I will stand with the Muslims should the political winds shift in an ugly direction.'
(Note: these are not all 100% true, check it out on snopes.com by clicking here.)

You Never Know!

A young tourist from Denmark came to the Kotel Yesterday. I could not get him to put on tefillin. No matter what I tried, he was insistent that he was not going to put them on. He had put them on for a year when he was much younger, but “it didn’t do anything” for him. He has not put them on since.

I tried to explain that he was not doing it right or it would have been “doing something” for him. He pushed all of my answers away. He had just graduated from medical school and had an attitude that if it doesn’t work, you don’t do it. I tried talking to him for some ten minutes. I used all of my examples that have worked in the past, but he would not budge. I was surprised that he didn’t just walk away. In truth, he was so negative that I was about to walk away.

Just then three young Japanese tourists walked by. I looked over to them and said something to them in Japanese. I enjoy seeing how shocked they are when they see someone who looks like I do speaking Japanese. I remember maybe a dozen or two sentences from when I was in Japan over fifty years ago. My accent and vocabulary really surprise them.

It turned out that the Jew was even more shocked than they were. He asked them in English, “Is he really speaking Japanese to you? Can you understand him?” They said yes. He smiled broadly and announced, “That you can speak Japanese … That’s amazing! Okay, I’ll put on tefillin.”

Now I was the one who was amazed. I have no idea why my speaking Japanese changed his mind.

I quickly helped him to put on tefillin. After he said the prayers, I had him pray for his loved ones and his own needs. I saw that he was finally opening up a little and in fact was enjoying his experience. So many long years of negativity fell away in those few minutes. His long-held opinions changed; from being totally negative to somewhat open.

What a blessing this was for him. He is at the age where he is looking to get married. With a completely negative attitude about Judaism, he could easily intermarry. These few minutes wearing tefillin and opening his heart at the Kotel may very well have saved him from that.

Am I recommending that everyone learn to speak Japanese in case some day it will convince someone to do a mitzvah? No, I am not. But I am recommending not giving up. When helping someone to come to a mitzvah, try whatever you can. You never know what might work.

Random Cartoons