Sunday, February 3, 2008

Questions That Haunt Me

Can you cry under water ?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered ?

Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. but it's only a "penny for your thoughts" ?
Where's that extra penny going to ?

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity ?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box ?

What disease did cured ham actually have ?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage ?

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours ?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing ?

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV ?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground ?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change ?
They're going to see you naked anyway.

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp,
which no decent human being would eat?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him ?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ?

Why do you drive on a parkway and park in a driveway ?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat ?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours ? They're both dogs !

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from ?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons ?

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune ?

Why did you just try singing the two songs above ?

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt ?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you,
but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

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